Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

24

Oct

Throwing a baby shower, by Ricardo & Reyna
So I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that Reyna has a bun in the oven, but there’s a reasonable chance she’s simply smuggling a garbage bag full of stolen copper wire under that fucking mess of a dress.
THE FUCK. Is that a plastic disposable table cloth scotch taped up on the side of a house? For to make the party fancy?
Casual side beer.
I hate to keep ragging on Reyna’s brows (really, I, uh… hate it) but did she really have to draw them on today like she’s perpetually on the precipice of solving a mystery?

Her chirruns future brow sitch:

Throwing a baby shower, by Ricardo & Reyna

So I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that Reyna has a bun in the oven, but there’s a reasonable chance she’s simply smuggling a garbage bag full of stolen copper wire under that fucking mess of a dress.

THE FUCK. Is that a plastic disposable table cloth scotch taped up on the side of a house? For to make the party fancy?

Casual side beer.

I hate to keep ragging on Reyna’s brows (really, I, uh… hate it) but did she really have to draw them on today like she’s perpetually on the precipice of solving a mystery?

Her chirruns future brow sitch:

23

Oct

A note about this blog

prior to creating this blog, I gave Ricardo & Reyna EVERY chance to deny their theft - 3 weeks ago their phone number was re-registered with my iMessage after i’d reset my whole apple ID. I have been texting and calling to give them every chance to deny the theft. I have a very solid background in IT and have followed proper steps to make sure i wasn’t jumping to unfounded conclusions. 

They are thieves, and they absolutely deserve every bit of this. 

A Lesson in Selfies, by Ricardo & Reyna. 
1 - don’t fucking smile. look like you’re taking a school photo in the 1800’s
2 - if you’re a girl, your eyebrows need to be drawn onto your forehead. if you’re a guy, your eyebrows need to be EVERYWHERE. 
3 - pretend like your body has no bones. like you’re gak with a face. 
(don’t remember gak?)

A Lesson in Selfies, by Ricardo & Reyna. 

1 - don’t fucking smile. look like you’re taking a school photo in the 1800’s

2 - if you’re a girl, your eyebrows need to be drawn onto your forehead. if you’re a guy, your eyebrows need to be EVERYWHERE. 

3 - pretend like your body has no bones. like you’re gak with a face. 

(don’t remember gak?)

GLAMOUR. 

GLAMOUR. 

Album Art
2,951 plays

Trollin’ trollin’ trollin’

Let’s take a moment to consider the criminal mastermind behind my iPhone’s burgling, and this blog’s namesake, Ricardo. 
Ricardo is clearly a devout Catholic, sporting not only a rosary, but a “San Judas Tadeo” shirt. Not being Catholic myself I immediately mentally regurgitated something from a Lady Gaga video reminding me that Judas is BAD! He killed Jesus!
But it’s ok everyone, I Googled it. STRAIGHT from Wikipedia:
"Jude was one of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus. He is generally identified with Thaddeus, and is also variously called Jude of James, Jude Thaddaeus, Judas Thaddaeus or Lebbaeus.
In the Roman Catholic Church he is the patron saint of desperate cases and lost causes.”
THE PATRON SAINT OF DESPERATE CASES AND LOST CAUSES. THIS SHIT WRITES ITSELF.
I’M OUT. 
More tomorrow.

Let’s take a moment to consider the criminal mastermind behind my iPhone’s burgling, and this blog’s namesake, Ricardo. 

Ricardo is clearly a devout Catholic, sporting not only a rosary, but a “San Judas Tadeo” shirt. Not being Catholic myself I immediately mentally regurgitated something from a Lady Gaga video reminding me that Judas is BAD! He killed Jesus!

But it’s ok everyone, I Googled it. STRAIGHT from Wikipedia:

"Jude was one of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus. He is generally identified with Thaddeus, and is also variously called Jude of JamesJude ThaddaeusJudas Thaddaeus or Lebbaeus.

In the Roman Catholic Church he is the patron saint of desperate cases and lost causes.”

THE PATRON SAINT OF DESPERATE CASES AND LOST CAUSES. THIS SHIT WRITES ITSELF.

I’M OUT. 

More tomorrow.

22

Oct

Balls, holes, bling & duckface. GLAMOUR POSSE. 

Balls, holes, bling & duckface. GLAMOUR POSSE. 

1) I really don’t understand how these two can work as a couple when they only have one set of normal eyebrows between them.
2) These assholes must be the kingpins of the southern california black market iPhone racket, because apparently they can swing hawaiian vacations. DON’T GET THAT HAIR WET, REYNA!

1) I really don’t understand how these two can work as a couple when they only have one set of normal eyebrows between them.

2) These assholes must be the kingpins of the southern california black market iPhone racket, because apparently they can swing hawaiian vacations. DON’T GET THAT HAIR WET, REYNA!

A lesson in brows, by Reyna:
step 1: shave off your motherfucking eyebrows
step 2: girl you got a pencil? use it.
step 3: girl how does your broke ass not have a pencil. fine, use a sharpie

A lesson in brows, by Reyna:

step 1: shave off your motherfucking eyebrows

step 2: girl you got a pencil? use it.

step 3: girl how does your broke ass not have a pencil. fine, use a sharpie

Glamour apparently also robbed a Spencer’s gifts to throw a party. FUCK YEAH, STREAMERS

Glamour apparently also robbed a Spencer’s gifts to throw a party. FUCK YEAH, STREAMERS